The price of freedom

Every year, on Memorial Day for Fallen Soldiers and Victims of Terrorism, I turn to you, the parents, and to you, the children, and to the entire family, the family that is the people of Israel.

On this day, Israel's big bereaved family, of which I am one, enters your homes, meets you up close, looks into your eyes and seeks your gaze. If you look into the eyes of bereaved families, you will see a deep, endless abyss of pain, sorrow and longing. A deep, dark and cold abyss, from which there is no escape.

We, the bereaved, are all in this abyss of longing, living day by day. We try to navigate our lives toward safe shores, toward a comforting daily routine, and all we are left with is a constant craving for a reunion that will never transpire. Every day we are accompanied by the thoughts of those who are gone: What kind of person they could have been, what kind of family they would have had — had they lived, had tragedy not struck us.

As we prepare to celebrate the 65th anniversary of Israel's establishment, we know that independence has come at a hefty price: 23,085 people who fell in Israel's wars.

Every day that we exist as an independent nation is another day of mourning for a life taken before its time. Yad Lebanim, the association of the families of fallen soldiers of Israel's defense and security forces, seeks to commemorate each and every one of those lives. Commemoration and remembrance is holy work that the dead have bequeathed to us with their departure. It is our life's work.

Yad Lebanim carries the burden of commemorating the fallen children of this land with honor, love and a deep sense of responsibility. We fulfill our duty as though we were soldiers, fighting the war after the war: the war for remembrance, the war for values, the war for the journey.

The State of Israel is currently facing significant security threats, and the entire Middle East is undergoing historic changes. The Israel Defense Forces — Israel's first defense organization — is a mosaic of Israeli society. These days there is an ongoing public debate over the need for equality in enlistment to the IDF or national service. In this context it is important to mention that the rifts within Israeli society are often repaired when they pass through the melting pot that is enlistment to the IDF or national service.

I hold out hope that our lives will be filled with meaning and value, lives of solace and hope and a quest for peace. May He who makes peace in the heavens bring peace upon us and upon all Israel.

Eli Ben-Shem is the chairman of the Yad Lebanim fallen soldiers' memorial organization. He lost his son, 1st Lt. Kobi Ben-Shem, in the 1997 helicopter disaster, in which 73 soldiers were killed.