ZIMBABWEAN dictator Robert Mugabe is "forward-thinking", the Islamist paramilitary organisation Hezbollah is "not radical" and chickens in Thailand are scrawny.
These are among the startling findings of $4.9 million in taxpayer-funded political study tours.
Federal MPs spent the record sum in just six months of globetrotting to June 30 this year, visiting 31 countries to "investigate" everything from the global financial crisis to Mekong River hill tribes and upmarket boutiques in Milan
Their reports, tabled in Parliament, are a combination of trite observations about world affairs and policy tips, such as Queensland Liberal Peter Lindsay's remarks on Mr Mugabe - whose despotic regime is subject to Australian sanctions - and Hezbollah, the Lebanon-based political group that funds terror activities throughout the Middle East, according to Australia, the US and Britain.
Bowman MP Andrew Laming undertook a seven-week trip to the US, France, Russia, Latvia and Thailand.
While in the US, he stopped over in Las Vegas to learn about the real-estate crisis, attending what he described as a meeting about condominium sales.
Mr Laming, whose trip cost just over $9000, visited San Francisco for a banking dinner before flying to Milan to meet Italian academics. He dropped into Latvia to discuss a Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade program, then headed back to Australia.
Mallee MP John Forrest took a challenging 18-day trip to northern Thailand to visit hill tribes in the Mekong River region.
The purpose of the trip - which cost $17,562 - was to learn about the Children of the Golden Triangle organisation.
In a candid report, Mr Forrest described how he was kept up by barking dogs, how his taxi driver became hopelessly lost and how he ate at an internet cafe. He also observed that the chickens in villages were "scrawny".
Mr Forrest - who misspelt the Thai currency as "bart" throughout his report - checked into the Bangkok Hilton for a stopover on his way back to Australia.
Senator Concetta Fierravanti-Wells jetted to Italy for two weeks to find solutions to the Australian wool-industry crisis.
She said her $17,798 trip was insightful, and has filed a record 620-page report she described as her "War And Peace on wool".
Senator Fierravanti-Wells told Parliament she became attached to her subjects after never having been close to a sheep before.
"Cuddling lambs across the countryside meant that lamb was off the Wells household's menu for a while," she said.
Curiously, her report also contained a disclaimer that stated: "No responsibility is accepted for the accuracy or completeness of any material contained in this publication."
Senator Fierravanti-Wells said part of the motivation for heading to Italy was that she often asked herself why Australia produced the best wool in the world, only to sell it to Italy before buying back the clothes.
"I myself have been guilty of this, as I suspect have quite a number of my Senate colleagues, judging by their suits," Senator Fierravanti-Wells said.
"So I decided to get the answer for myself. I admit I had only seen sheep in paddocks and never touched one in my life."
The senator's trip included visits to fashion house Zegna in Milan and textile mills where she purchased several outfits.
Queensland Liberal MP Peter Lindsay spent $15,619 visiting 11 countries in 41 days, including South Africa, Zimbabwe, Mauritius and the UK.
He said he wanted to come back to Australia with new ideas on defence, security, social policy and crime. His conclusions included this insight: "As much as the world is different, we face many of the same problems."
Among his discoveries, Mr Lindsay said he had learnt that Hezbollah - the Lebanon-based Islamist organisation that calls for the destruction of Israel - was not the radical group some thought it was, and could be a force for good in the Middle East. He also praised President Mugabe's "forward thinking" in tackling the HIV/AIDS epidemic in Zimbabwe.
Victorian Labor senator Jacinta Collins went on a tour of China to investigate the impact of the Global Financial Crisis on the Chinese economy. Between meetings, she managed to squeeze in visits to museums and the Huaqing Hot Springs.
Senator Collins concluded that China appeared to be moving out of its slump.
Victorian Liberal MP Petro Georgiou went on a three-week trip to France, Belgium, Netherlands and Britain, where he met with various representatives about xenophobia, asylum-seekers and integration issues.
In Belgium, Mr Georgiou met with an advocacy officer from the European Council for Refugees and Exiles.
At this meeting, the need to accept nudity and homosexuality as part of acceptance for integration was discussed, he said.
Victorian Labor MP and House of Representatives deputy speaker Anna Burke jetted to Dublin, London, Vienna, Paris and Rome for 35 days.
In Paris, "we had long and fruitful discussions about our countries' responses to the global financial crisis," Ms Burke said.
Victorian Liberal MP Fran Bailey spent five weeks in Portugal, Belgium, Britain and Singapore finding ways to improve responses to bushfires.
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