The Israeli and American Jewish supporters of Oslo have been asked to say
special Selichot prayers this year in light of the terrible catastrophes
inflicted upon Israel by the policies they have forced upon the country.
The new Oslo Selichot go something like this:
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
the world that Arafat would pursue peace,
Please forgive us.
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
the world that Hamas would be more of a threat to the PLO than to Israel,
Please forgive us.
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
the Jews that Arafat would fight the Hamas and Islamic Jihad with no
Supreme Court or B'Tselem (to quote Rabin),
Please forgive us.
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
Israel that hostility to Jews in the Arab and the Moslem media would
decrease,
Please forgive us.
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
the Israelis that trade between Israel and Arab countries would flourish,
Please forgive us.
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
Israel us that the Palestinian Authority would be disarmed,
Please forgive us.
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
Israel that the PLO would cooperate strategically with the Israeli Defense
Force,
Please forgive us.
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
Israel there would be an economic peace dividend,
Please forgive us.
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
Israel that Israeli Arabs would demonstrate increasing moderation due to
the "peace process,"
Please forgive us..
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
Israel that the Hamas and Jihad would be persecuted and suppressed by the
PLO,
Please forgive us.
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
Israel that PLO arms would never again be used against Jews,
Please forgive us.
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
Israel that the PLO leadership would speak in terms of peace with the
Jews,
Please forgive us.
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
Israel that the PLO would cease its efforts to delegitimize Zionism and
Israel,
Please forgive us.
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
Israel the PLO would denounce and renounce anti-Semitism, Nazism and
Holocaust Denial,
Please forgive us.
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
Israel that the PLO would introduce democracy into the Palestinian zones,
Please forgive us.
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
Israel that the PLO would be forced to spend all its energies on resolving
domestic social and economic problems,
Please forgive us.
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
Israel that the US would back Israel if the PLO reneged on its obligations
or displayed duplicity,
Please forgive us.
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
Israel that the US would cease to pressure Israel to endanger its security
and fundamental interests,
Please forgive us.
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
Israel that the Europeans would rush forward to support Israel,
Please forgive us.
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
Israel that the Japanese and Saudis would pour money into regional
investments, including into Israel,
Please forgive us.
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
Israel that the Egyptians would end all animosity towards Israel, Zionism
and Jews,
Please forgive us.
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
Israel that the non-Arab Moslem countries would gush friendship for
Israel,
Please forgive us.
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
Israel that Arab military expenditure would drop significantly,
Please forgive us.
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
Israel that Arab verbal threats against Israel's existence would end,
Please forgive us.
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
Israel that Nazi-like propaganda in Arab countries would end,
Please forgive us.
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
Israel that the Israeli Left would lead the retreat from the Oslo
experiment it if proved to be not working,
Please forgive us.
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
Israel that the PLO would never show itself as a tin-cup Third-World
kleptocracy if granted power,
Please forgive us.
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
Israel that Jews remaining in Moslem countries would see their treatment
dramatically improved,
Please forgive us.
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
Israel that Russia would act as a stabilizing force for peace,
Please forgive us.
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
Israel that the majority of Palestinians would denounce violence and
terror,
Please forgive us.
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
Israel that Israel Arabs would cease to support political parties
dedicated to eliminating Israel,
Please forgive us.
For the sin we committed when we forced Israel to commit Oslo and assured
Israel that Palestinian chants of "In Fire and Blood will We Redeem
Palestine," "Death to the Jews," and "Massacre the Jews" would end,
Please forgive us.
For the sin we committed when we assured the world that Oslo would NEVER
lead to demands for negotiations concerning Israeli sovereignty over
Jerusalem, that Israel would never be asked to return to its 1949
Auschwitz borders, that the Jordan Valley, and Golan Heights would remain
Israel's security borders forever,
Please please please forgive us!!